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Hello future zombie food,
I’ve just been shown an awesome website by a mate.
It shows projected danger zones (DANGERZONE!!) for the apocalypse. Now any major city is going to be a high risk area of course, and then certain areas within that, school, malls, hospitals, etc. This shows the aforementioned areas in a darker shade of red and all other metropolitan danger zones in a lighter shade.
So you can see above that Perth is nice and isolated, if you don’t know where Perth is; it’s the tiny red dot on the bottom left hand corner of Australia.
As we get closer in we can see that the danger areas branch out around my home city, mainly inland and down south.
Now the little dude holding a baseball bat (not my weapon of choice, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers) is standing on Bunnings Warehouse in Maddington, which is where we’ll all be. But I’ll explain later.
As you can see it’s only a moderate danger area, no major high population areas near by, and in fact we have a small park which according to this map the zombies aren’t too keen on, and a river. Now I don’t know if I’d actually consider them safe zones but they’re good to keep in mind.
So that in a nutshell is where I’ll be in the projected future wasteland that is Perth, but once I take over I’ll be renaming it to Kristopia.
Wow! I’ve got two followers, that’s 200% more followers than I had two days ago, now as long as I can continue that trend I’ll be interwebs famous in no time, and you’ll all be safe. It’s ok, you can thank me in ammunition when the apocalypse rolls around.
So this is all got started because of a few conversations/arguments I’ve had with people regarding zombies, the apocalypse and my ability to survive said apocalypse. I’ll get into the details of my plan once I’ve got a few more people to share all of this knowledge with.
For now though, I want to share two things. First a quick conversation I had with a friend on FaceBook about this blog.
Ben: Question relating to your z-day blog: when using a hammer as a zombie smashing weapon, which type do you go for? Claw or ball pien? If claw, which end do you hit them with? The head or the claw? Discuss.
Me: Claw. Straight to the temple. Mash those brains.
Ben: What if there’s multiple zombies? Personally, I’d go claw hammer and use the striking end to bash them to bits, then use the claw on the last one for flair. Cos if your claw gets stuck on the first zombie, you dead.
This is the kind of guy you need on your side when you waste deep in undead motherfuckers that want nothing more than to eat your soft, supple innards.
The second thing I wanted to share was a bit of an argument I had with two work mates about zombies and their various abilities. My workmate Ken insists that zombies won’t be able to run. His reasoning: They’re operating on base instinct. Granted that’s a fair point, however… Myself and Morgan see no reason as to why zombies wouldn’t be able to run as base instinct would be slightly different to all of us.
For example; if you had a person who runs every day for exercise or competition, I see no reason as to why they wouldn’t be able to run. It’s something they would do without thinking, the motivation would be there. Meaning you, the blubber coated crap factory who hasn’t run a day in his life. As you can imagine none of us backed down, and this argument went around and round in circles.
However, this opened up an entire range of horrible potential circumstances. While admittedly most of them significantly remote, they could happen. Most relating to some sort of athletic activity, and in the state the world is in now there’s not much of that going on.
What if someone was a long jumper? I don’t want some voracious, undead skull fucking machine launching at me out of no where.
There’s loads more but this is already long enough; so I’ll cut to the chase. What if the now zombified killing machine used to climb a lot? (Eg; rock climber, tree lopper, etc) I can sure as hell guarantee that when my family starts tearing each other apart to get to each other gooey centres I’m going for higher ground. If you even know the slightest thing about military tactics you know that you need the high ground overlooking the kill box.
So what I’m saying is, if for any reason these bastards can climb.
I have always liked the monster within idea. I like the zombies being us. Zombies are the blue-collar monsters.
Hello Residents of the Interwebs!
So far I’m sure you can ascertain a certain amount about me already.
Yes, I’m a horror buff.
Yes, I love zombies in all their incarnations.
And yes, I spend far too much of my time thinking about this kind of shit.
My name is Kris, and I don’t really expect to get much a fan-base for this as I know it’s done to death; but regardless I’m going to write all this down, and dammit you’re going to read it.
I’m from Perth, Western Australia, which supposedly is the most isolated capital city in the world. I’m currently an IT desk monkey working for a large mining corporation.
What else can I really say about myself? I prefer collared shirts over t-shirts, I probably play too much PS3, I enjoy being social, and I use my opposable thumbs to the best of my ability.
That’s really about all there is to it.
Basically what I plan to do here is flesh out my plan for the impending Zombie Apocalypse, Z-Day, if you will. I’m willing to take suggestions and alterations to my plan and I welcome you to tell me about yours. When the end arrives we’ll be able to use this website as a guideline on how to survive Z-Day.
I’ll give one small hint before I wrap up my first post on here. Those of you who know me know the basics of my plan and I’ll give you one hint…